


Gone But (Definitely) Not Forgotten

by Rose_Rassmusen



Series: What makes us who we are [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:46:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Rassmusen/pseuds/Rose_Rassmusen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some things that make us who we are. And others that change who we are. To Jim, Owen Collins was the thing that changed, and shaped, who he was, and is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone But (Definitely) Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hey SkullzxD](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Hey+SkullzxD).



> Though this story describes graphic rape and Jim's afterthoughts, I have not personally been a victim of rape. My sisters and my best friend (A guy) have all been raped, and they were quite graphic in their thoughts and emotions after the fact. If I have anything wrong, or something that is so offending to you that you'd like me to change it, I gladly will.  
> ~This whole fic was written on my phone, so any typos, just let me know.~

It started with an offer. Well, to be honest, it had started  
when Jim had caught the eye of one of his brother's older  
friends. Owen Xavier Collins had always considered himself  
bisexual, but upon laying eyes on Jim, all thoughts of women  
vacated the piece of flesh he liked to call a brain.

Jim's older brother was popular. It might have been because  
he had parties every time his parents were away (which was  
almost every other night), it might have been because he had  
a charming bad-boy attitude that attracted men and women  
alike, but all that mattered to Owen was that he had beer,  
drugs, and a crowd of willing bodies, ripe for the taking.  
The one that especially held his interest was Jim. He was far  
too young to be in college, unlike many of the other kids  
that came to George's parties, and had an alluring sense of  
innocence that made Owen's manhood strain against his  
overly-tight jeans. It might have been a combination of  
intoxication and curiosity that made Owen approach the young  
boy, but to be perfectly honest, it was the raw lust that  
provoked him to offer that first, world shattering drink.

Now, Jim had been encouraged at a young age, not to drink.  
That didn't mean he wouldn't jump at the chance to. George's  
parties were often annoying, though they were never boring,  
so Jim often hung around by the stairs, watching his older  
brother's college friends get pissed out of their minds and  
stumble upstairs past Jim, leaving him to wonder which bed  
they would be having sex in. Jim was an outsider in George's  
world, the kid brother sitting in the shadows, until that  
night, when his entire world was changed.

He was sitting on the steps, same as any other night, when a  
rather large man approached him, beer in hand, whilst he  
slurred out an offer. It took Jim a few seconds to realize  
the man was talking to him, and he outstretched his hand for  
the ice-cold beverage he assumed was being given to him. He  
looked up at the man and took a long drink of the already  
opened beer, admiring how it could taste so bitter and yet so  
flavorful at the same time. He pried his lips away from the  
neck of the bottle and blinked a few times, the alcohol  
immediately entering his bloodstream at an alarming pace and  
making him feel a bit warm as he gazed at the talking man who  
was offering another drink after Jim finished the one he was  
on, which, was not long after that. The boy gulped down the  
rest, closing his eyes at the warmth that was rapidly  
spreading to all his limbs. Alcohol didn't usually feel like  
this, did it? Jim thought as he drained the bottle, looking  
up at the man who had introduced himself as Owen, and finding  
himself surprised at the discovery of two more Owens. The man  
bent down and picked Jim up with a bit more hand-eye  
coordination than should have been possible, given how much  
his words had been slurred, but then again, his words sounded  
perfectly clear now as Owen carried Jim up the stairs,  
whispering things in Jim's ear that caused a bubble of panic  
to arise in Jim's gut. He tried to turn his head and struggle  
out of Owen's arms, hut found himself unable to move, knowing  
for certain that the man must've put something in his drink.  
What was worse than feeling the press of Owen's arms around  
Jim, was that it was getting Jim aroused. No! Shouted Jim in  
his mind. You aren't supposed to do that unless I tell you  
to! 

Jim was vaguely aware that it wasn't his room that Owen had  
opened, but what was more important was that he had been  
dropped unceremoniously onto the bed and that Owen was now  
undressing him, smirking as he ripped Jim's shirt from his  
body, and leaning in to take a bite at the pale flesh of  
Jim's neck, all the while never ceasing the flow of words  
from his mouth, telling Jim just how hard he would fuck the  
younger boy, how loud he would make him scream, all the  
things that made Jim feel helpless. 

Jim tried to struggle but couldn't, his limbs heavy and warm  
as Owen yanked Jim's pants down around his ankles. He heard  
the words 'no, stop' repeated in his ears and it took him a  
while to realize they were coming from him. Jim turned his  
eyes back to the man as he heard the sound of a zipper being  
pulled down and Jim started to really panic. Oh god, this is  
happening! Right now, this is happening! Jim gasped as his  
legs were spread apart and a calloused hand grasped at his  
arse. Somewhere in the back of his head, Jim knew that even  
if he screamed no one would hear him over the pulsing music  
and the sound of three or four women doing the same thing,  
though their screams were of pleasure rather than fear. 

Owen stared down at Jim, spread out in front of him while he  
stroked his own erection. The only thing that spoiled it was  
the weak protests coming from Jim, no matter how much Owen  
assured him how beautiful and sexy he was. Owen pried Jim's  
legs farther apart and spit into his hand before lubing up  
his cock, knowing that it was not adequate lubrication for  
full penetration, but not really caring. He didn't bother  
preparing Jim before he guided his manhood up against Jim's  
virgin arse and beginning to push inside.

Jim's eyes grew wide with panic. He didn't want his first  
time to be like this! Not with a man, not in his brother's  
bed without any preparation, all drugged up and not able to  
fight back! Jim shut his eyes tightly and let out a frantic  
gasp. It hurts, It hurts, it hurts. Jim's mind could only  
possess the one thought, and he screamed, actually screamed,  
as Owen buried himself balls-deep in one thrust and Jim felt  
something inside him rip. It might have been his pride, or  
his dignity, but it was probably his arse, since the  
blood had to come from somewhere. Jim gave up his cries  
of 'no' and instead focused on breathing as his throat  
tightened up and Owen pulled out before thrusting roughly  
back in. Jim felt his eyes filled up with tears and he let  
out a choked sob. He gasped weakly with each of Owen's  
thrusts and sobbed each time he pulled back.

~~

It hurt so much, not just the physical pain, but the  
humiliation. Owen pulled out with a groan, letting blood and  
cum alike drip from Jim's abused arse and Jim tried to crawl  
away, finally having the ability to move. He clutched at the  
unmade sheets on his brother's bed and tucked his knees up to  
his chest in the fetal position, sobbing as he felt the  
stranger's semen inside him. His face was stained with tears,  
the sheets were stained with blood, and the sound of Owen  
zipping up his pants was stained in Jim's mind. Owen placed  
his hands on the bed and leaned over Jim, placing a soft,  
gentle, first kiss on Jim's temple. Three words were  
whispered, and the words sent shivers up Jim's spine. There  
was the sound of a door softly opening and closing, and Jim  
was left alone on George's bed, sobbing silently until  
exhaustion overcame him, those three words echoing in his  
ears.

"I love you."

~~~~~~~~~

It happened so fast, when Jim woke up the next morning, he  
wondered if perhaps it was simply a nightmare, but as soon as  
he tried to sit up, a sharp blinding pain shot up his spine  
and he knew it was real. He laid back down and stared at the  
wall, pulling the sheets up around him and not making any  
noise, the pain coming from his arse like a deep aching fire.  
After a while Jim realized he needed to clean the blood off  
the sheets and he got out of bed, trying not to put any  
pressure on his behind, and gathered up the stained  
bed-sheets. He tried not to think as he slipped on his boxers  
from where Owen had thrown them, and fought back the urge to  
throw up at the memory. He washed the sheets before George  
got up and had replaced them on the bed. He got a clean set  
of clothes from his closet and took a shower, letting the  
almost unbearably hot water pour down over him as he stood  
still under the spray. After a while he picked up the soap  
and luffa and started washing his skin, running the scratchy  
cloth over his skin long after the water ran cold.

~

No one noticed that anything was wrong with Jim, just figured  
he was in one of his quiet phases, where he would be lost in  
thought, then suddenly burst out with a crazy idea, but Jim  
said nothing, thought nothing, just simply went about daily  
life as if in a daze. He refused to accept what happened that  
night, and he told no one, not his parents, not George,  
especially not him. The last person Jim would tell would be  
George, chances are he wouldn't even care, he would just get  
mad at Jim for getting stains on his sheets, even though Jim  
cleaned them. No, he couldn't tell George. What would he say?  
'Hey bro, I got fucked by a guy because I was too much of a  
pussy to fight back'? Yeah, that would go over well. Could  
guys even get... Raped? God, he could hardly bring himself to  
think it.

In the end, Jim didn't tell anyone, he went to school each  
morning, came home, ate what little he could bear and go to  
sleep. It was maddening, the routine familiarity of it, but  
in some ways it was so comforting.

**Author's Note:**

> Please review, I'd like to know what you liked, what you didn't like (Other than the non-con) and how you think I could improve my writing.


End file.
